Sunday, June 8, 2014

Zvuvi for President!

Shalom Girls and Boys:

I'm feeling very presidential. This coming Tuesday Israel's Knesset -- parliament -- is going to vote for the country's 10th president -- and in my opinion, I'm perfect for the job.

There's been a lot of dirty politics during the campaign.  I called all 120 Knesset members to attention. Enough is enough, I said. Have you forgotten that the president is a good will ambassador, not a politician? Save all the mud slinging for the next parliamentary election. Right now focus on the fact that I'm the best candidate to succeed Shimon Peres. 

Here's why:

1. I'm the only candidate who can match his energy level. Correction. I'm the only one with more energy.

2. I'm always on the move, and when I fly, I fly for free.

3. I know how to create a buzz.

4. I'm a master communicator.

5. I'm never caught off guard. I know how to wing it like no one else.

6. I'm a trained diplomat who knows how to fly into the face of danger.

7. Shimon may be a visionary but I've got 4000 separate lenses in each of my two eyes, which means I have omnidirectional vision. No one knows how to take in the whole picture better than me.

8. I'm not a fly by night. You can depend on me to fly the flag with honor.

9. Most leaders would like to be a fly on the wall at important meetings of heads of state that they're not invited to. Ahem...need I say more? Even superman Shimon can't beat that.

10. Flynally. I know how to P-A-R-T-Y!!! With dignity of course. I've never sent out an invitation that's been turned down.

This coming Tuesday it's Zvuvi for President!

No comments:

Post a Comment